How do you know when you feel love?
Oh, I think when you feel love you don’t have to ask that question
(Asked by Eddie Murphy and answered by Elizabeth Banks in “Meet Dave”) is the best answer I ever heared. But what do you think love is? What does it feel like? That’s what we’ll talk about in this guide
1 . WHAT IS LOVE?
Obviously there are various kinds of love, but in this guide we’ll focus on one in particular. No need to explain you which I guess…
THAT kind of love… true love. It can be described with all sorts of words, and it still wouldn’t be enough. In all honesty, I don’t know how to describe it, but I’ll try basing myself on my personal experience with it.
- Wishing the person you love will always be happy.
- Wishing that that person will be yours forever.
- Caring about that person more than you care about your own self.
- Thinking about that person very, very often (if not always).
- Being extremely happy, excited and cheerful when you’re with them, asking yourself what did you do to deserve all that luck.
- Knowing that in order to be happy, you need to be with that person, and if you can’t, you’ll feel destroyed and everything you cared about suddenly looses all its meanings.
To love means that being with that person is everything you want.
That when you’re not with them, you don’t even wanna breath and that even if you wanted to, you feel like you can’t because you have a big, black emphtyness in your chest that aspires everything else there is.
That every year, every month, every week, every day, every second and every instant you’re not with them, they’re drinking your soul away. And that despite everything, all this simple, complicated sufference makes you want to be with them even more.
That’s what true love is.
2 . WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE?
I partially described that in the previous step, but results may vary for each individual.
- One might feel shattered and teared apart by what it caused. For example the partner betraying you or thinking you don’t stand a chance with her/him, that you can’t be with her/him etc.
- Some people are afraid of it, they feel terrorized by it and they try to convince themselves that they’re not in it.
- Others simply don’t realize it till they see the man or woman they love between the arms of somebody else.
- While the luckier ones, realize it and feel it, live it, enjoy it.
They fully experience that enrapturing, swell feeling, flowing from the core of their bones to the point of their hair. You might think that their lives turn into a paradise and who am I to lie? At first it trully feels like that. But life is still life and soon or late this rose will show it’s torns as well.
Jealousy is one of them. Although it may be unjustified, you don’t trully love someone if you are not jealous of them. Of course, too much jealousy ruins relationships but a bit of it, is actually healthy and prooves you care about that person.
Some people could tell you that love is just a chemical reaction in our brain, necessary for the reproduction of our race. That it’s just our primitive instinct taking control over us and making us believe we are the ones in control. But I think they’re confusing love with politics.
Love is much more than just sexual impulses and hormones, and there are couples who stay together for their whole life without having children.
EVERYONE who has ever experienced true love will tell you that they are two completely different things. Physically, you can get sexually exited every day by different people. Even by complete strangers.
But you fall trully in love with someone for their soul, not for their body. The problem is, that many humans live without ever get the luck of tasting it at least for once. That’s where all these discussions and debates start from in my opinion.
3 . COURAGE
This is the last and most important of steps. You can compare your feelings to the things I wrote so far and if you think you might be in love, congratulations! You got yourself in a big, huge mess.
Jokes apart, it doesn’t matter if right now you love someone, but when you do, please, I beg you: don’t make the same mistake I was about to make. If you trully love someone, no matter who that is, no matter if you think you don’t stand a chance or that you’re not worthy of them, it doesn’t even matter if you know that person or not.
DON’T GIVE UP
Find a way to show them or tell them everything you feel for them.
Because I can I assure you (from personal experience) that if you won’t do it, you’ll eat yourself everyday and curse yourself every night for letting them go without trying and you won’t find peace, you won’t trully love anyone (although you might illude yourself you do) till you’ll reveal your love. Even if they’ll refuse you, breaking your heart, trust me, it’s NOTHING compared to knowing they don’t even know how much you care about them. In this particular case, regret is ALWAYS better than remorse.
As sang by Steven Tyler (in the song “Dream On”)
Dream on, dream on, dream until your dream comes true.
and although it’s a great advice you should follow, just dreaming is not enough. You must follow your heart and work on it. When you’ll finally be with the person you love, constantly try to build the relationship with them and try to conquer her (or him) again and again and again, as if they still weren’t yours, because that’s the only way to keep them yours.
I hope you’ll really be with the person you love and I wish you that with my whole heart.